Some months ago I contacted a raft of global animal charities about a story of a mistreated street dog in Brazil which countless friends had asked me to investigate. Most organisations were hugely helpful and one in particular sent me regular news and then began sending me updates on animal cruelty worldwide. It’s an outfit based in the States and before long I realised it was fairly radical in its methods. In fact at the end of its last e-mail is a quote from the Leader of the British Animal Liberation Front in 1987: ‘I can support petrol bombing, bombs under cars and the shooting of vivisectionists on their doorsteps. It’s a war.’ Blimey. In Orwellian Britain I’ll probably be sectioned under the terrorist act for 42 days and told I’m supporting a criminal organisation. If truth be told, I’m warming to these animal crusaders when they report a successful raid on a Mengele-style scientific lab or the release of thousands of rats in Minnesota. They’ve horrified me with their statistics that thirty-three animals die in laboratories each second worldwide and every four seconds in the UK. As Martin Luther King wisely said, ‘Never, never be afraid to do what’s right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake.’ Mind, you, I do draw the line at maiming and murder and much as I have sympathise to an extent with the cause I cannot condone violence. The press office informs me that it is trying to communicate the torture, enslavement and murder of non-human beings across the globe and is sad that violence is often the only measure left. Hm. I think the time has maybe come for me to get my computer techie to prise this earnest group off my e-mail system before our despotic Gordie gets wind of it.
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